Did you know I love lists? I write all of my lists down… I write everything down, my dreams, my goals, my to-do lists. I even write down the attributes I’d like in a future partner!
Being a part of a failing marriage… really puts into perspective what you’re looking for in a partner.
Let’s backtrack for one second… You’re probably thinking: “Shouldn’t you have done this BEFORE you got married?” Bear with me, I got married at 22, after knowing him for a couple of months.
Stupid, I know. Plenty of friends and family members tried to tell me… But I was in LOVE, and young, and dumb… I’m sure you’ve experienced a dumb 22 year old before. I was also insecure, unhappy, and lonely. Bad combination.
On to the list!
- Similar lifestyles – Dating somebody who is “polar opposite” can be nice sometimes. Except for when you have a hankering for karaoke and friends… and they’re… not. I dealt with this constantly. I’m an active person, I love seeing my friends, going out, and having experiences. My ex-husband, preferred staying in and playing video games. If that works for you, DO IT. But it’s best to be with somebody who can either, keep up or stay in, with you.
- Similar sex drives – I’m not afraid to talk about sex… Ask me anything, and I’ll answer honestly. I’ve heard from plenty of friends that their partners won’t have sex often enough, or on the other spectrum, they’re bugging them too much. If you want to get freaky 7 times a week, find somebody with a similar urging. If you prefer to get intimate once or twice a week, best find somebody who will snuggle 24/7, without asking for a quickie. Why is this important? Rejecting your partner, or feeling rejected… is the ABSOLUTE WORST. Personally, I have a high sex drive. I can get it on every damn day. My ex, was cool with every once in a while. It can lead to resentment and feeling undesirable.
- Honesty – the ability to say how they’re truly feeling or thinking… You want to spend the rest of your life with somebody who can’t say: “I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby…” *bonus points if you recognize the quote!
- Maturity – I’m not talking about this person acting mature 100% of the time… Make those poop jokes if you think they’re funny! (I think immaturity is the best way to stay young!) But your partner should be capable of dealing with real-life issues in a mature manner. They can’t pretend the world owes them something without responding correctly. We’re all a little guilty of getting mad at the universe for the hands we’ve been dealt… *RAISES HAND MULTIPLE TIMES* But even when I’m pissed off for something, I rant and rave to myself… or you…sorry. Then I deal with it.
- Dependability – You need to know this person has your back. Unless you’re a maniacal, manipulative hoe. You need to calm the fuck down. If you have a problem, they’ll do everything in their power to help you. And they’ll be there for you if you simply need a shoulder to lean on. Being dependable doesn’t mean they have to shoot the moon down for you. It means they’ll be there when they say they will. And that should mean more to you than the moon anyways.
- And finally, LOVE – your partner should love you. They don’t have to like you everyday. We all have bad days. We’re human. But a relationship is meant to build upon the good days, buffer out the bad days, and co-exist in a new way. This person should love you, and care for you. When they’re having a bad day, you should love for them and care for them.
Follow my page if you want more lists! This list is meant to be an example of things I THINK YOU SHOULD LOOK FOR IN A PARTNER! You can expand on this list, or shorten it as you please. These are my experiences, and my perspective. Comment and tell me how you’d add on to it! Am i missing anything?!