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Period Ahead

If you find yourself grossed out by the idea of women menstruating… go no further! I really don’t care what I discuss, I’m naturally an open person. So here we go!

Let’s start with the basics. Menstruating is the fuck-all monthly time of a woman’s lifeĀ  where her body gets pissed off at her because she’s not pregnant (unless she’s on a specific birth control or doesn’t get hers regularly). But me, I’m a fucking clock. Every 25 days, I get my period. It used to be 28, but after my pregnancy with my healthy 3 year old – I got sucker punched and lost those extra 3 days a month… Did you know, if you do the math, I GET A WHOLE EXTRA PERIOD EVERY FUCKING YEAR? WTF. How is that even fair?

I digress… but I’m still pissed about that.
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Anyways, my period used to be really mellow and more inconvenient than painful. I was always curious what those women would be complaining about with their electric blankets on their stomachs and popping midol or pain killers. But now…now I understand. Why on Earth is it like this?!

As you can tell… I’m irritated, period’s are the bane of almost every woman’s existence. It’s messy, frustrating, and ruins every cute pair of underwear we own. As part of my “Less Trash – More Happy” campaign I’m running for myself, I decided to try out a Menstrual Cup. For those who haven’t seen the ads everywhere for a menstrual cup.

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It’s this tiny cup you insert into your vagina to catch all of your menstrual blood/uterine lining. Look at me get all scientific. (I am not being paid to advertise Lena Cup – it’s the cup I bought for my purposes from Amazon).

I got my period last week – which is why it’s weird I’m getting all my food cravings this week! So, I finally had a chance to try out the cup! And the first time I did it – it WAS FUCKING MAGICAL AND WORKED PERFECTLY. It caught everything, I didn’t have leakage, never felt it, and no cramps!

I thought maybe I hadn’t started my period yet… (I have the IUD and get a ton of random spotting before and after my period – which makes the whole ruin EVERY GODDAMN PAIR OF CUTE UNDERWEAR I HAVE SO FRUSTRATING).

I took it out, and there it was – every little bit of liquid completely contained in the little cup. It was easy to pop out – minimal mess and I dumped the liquid.

THEN MY CRAMPS HIT ME LIKE A FREIGHT TRUCK. It was like it provided tension and removed my cramping feeling. I don’t know the science behind it, all I know was I totally didn’t cramp while it was in, but immediately hunched over seconds after it was out.

The second – third – fourth – and fifth time I inserted it, it leaked. It never overflowed, but I think I kept putting it in wrong, because I had to change underwear multiple times. Other than that, it was a great little thing. I’m looking forward to next month and working out all the kinks. Without the leaking, I think it’ll be a great thing!

I did discuss this with my friend – who happens to be my tattoo artist as she was working on my new tattoo. (<3 it’s beautiful and I’m in love!!!) It’ll be finished next month, though. She mentioned boiling it in water with some vinegar to completely clean it out before the next period! So, I’m planning on taking care of that asap.

Tell me what useful things you’ve done to make your period less shitty. Because apart from indulging all of my ridiculous cravings and letting my boyfriend pound me in the bedroom, I’m fresh out of ideas. HAHA, if you haven’t had sex to get rid of period cramps – DO IT. It’s the best thing to do honestly. And you’re more sensitive, so win-win!

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