Last year, I was in a down-spiral… I was initiating a divorce, lamenting to myself that men were a*holes. (I had been dating this guy who said if I didn’t have a kid we could get serious… then proceeded to TEXT me every month to see if I wanted to hook-up… Like NO).
My finances were in ruins, I had just gotten a notice of a LAWSUIT against me for $2,500… Didn’t these people know I was broke!?
Anyways, I sat down, looked at the money coming in and the money that needed to go out. And I made a plan. I discussed with my parents that I needed to stay for possibly two more years. (Broke my heart, but I knew I couldn’t afford to move out, even with friends).
I started paying down all of my debt, and increasing my credit score. Got my job to bump me up to full-time… Paid off all of my collection debt aggressively and made a plan to send my mother the “collection debt” amount monthly as savings once it was paid off. Ironically started dating my bf only a little later as I took charge of my life! All of my goals were financial or body-wise.
And it felt good to reach my goals after YEARS of never feeling comfortable. I’m more financially secure now, than I have been in 6 years. I’m gonna say it again: “As a single mother, I’m more financially secure than I have been in SIX EFFING YEARS”.
So then, I wanted to tackle other goals… I decided that enough was enough… I wanted to live my life to the fullest. I wanted to try new things and make new friends.
One of my new goals: Run a 5k. This was a multi-part goal; training, running with friends, and following through on something I’ve always wanted to do. Why I never did it before? I was afraid to run by myself and the money. The money thing was no longer an issue – but everyone who said they would, BAILED ON ME. So I decided, eff it. I want to do it! I ran my first 5k in July… with absolutely no training bc I forgot! Haha, but I did it anyways. I actually didn’t do too bad, and I had my 3 year old with me to pass the time. I just signed up for another 5k in November. I’m hoping to train this time… but either way, I’ll follow through.
Oh and I LOVED IT! I genuinely enjoyed running with everyone, there was this amazing camaraderie. And it turned out our new neighbor was the finish line girl! So we kinda had a nice chat about that. She invited me over for wine… but I haven’t gone over yet.
Another goal: Participate in local events. I always saw people going to concerts in the park, movies in the park… But I hate going to these things alone. (Notice a pattern?)
My cousin found a movie in the park – Ferdinand! My daughter absolutely loved it, we munched on pizza and watched the movie as the night grew darker.
Concert in the park – my bf and I took my daughter and she got a pink blow-up guitar that she’d noticed when we first got there… Super happy! She noticed another little girl wanted her guitar, and she happily gave it to her as we left. **THIS WAS MY PROUDEST MOM MOMENT** No one asked her to give it up. She happily walked over and gave this girl her “precious pink guitar”. That little girl was so grateful, she gave my daughter this beautiful anchor necklace that she wore for days afterwards!
Another goal: Leave a positive foot print. I do my small part… See my other article about Less Trash – I’ve gotten a little bit bad as we ate out a lot this summer… But I’m reinforcing some good behaviors by eating leftovers, no straws, and trying to use less trash. 🙂 I’m a constant work in-progress.
Anyways, I took my daughter to a Beach Cleanup! *She’s obsessed with picking up trash and throwing it away. We got to spend a beautiful morning at the beach and help out! I am happy to report, there wasn’t that much trash to pick up, but we did our part!
I’m hoping to find other volunteer opportunities!
My new goals: Foster new and healthy friendships. Spend more silly time with my daughter. Volunteer more! Participate in my community. (I’ve always considered myself a social person… but I have come to realize, I’m pretty standoffish if I don’t know the people around me). How am I going to do this?
Run another 5k. Reach out to my daughter’s friend’s moms and initiate playdates. Hopefully they like wine. *Yes, I’m aware I’m a HUGE cliche! I’m cool with it!
ACTUALLY TRAIN FOR MY 5K… Lol, beat my time from the other one. Go to community events and talk to other people.
What’s something you’ve always wanted to try, but were to afraid to do?
Write down your goal in baby steps! Like for training – I no longer have a gym membership… and I’m not a morning person. So my first step is waking up ten minutes earlier every week until I’m up early enough to go for a satisfying run! 🙂
OH! I also got my divorce finalized! That was one of my goals for this summer. Haha! I’m almost completely freeee. *Child support order is next.