Last year, I was in a down-spiral… I was initiating a divorce, lamenting to myself that men were a*holes. (I had been dating this guy who said if I didn’t have a kid we could get serious… then proceeded to TEXT me every month to see if I wanted to hook-up… Like NO).
Let’s begin at the end…
Tongue tied, tipping into my own defense,
wrapping my arms around myself.
Cover up my scars,
deny my lies.
Try to destroy everything else.
You can burn the papers all you want,
They’ll never quite disappear.
And you can never burn the truth,
Until it’s completely scarred,
but you’re still a criminal.
they do it so easily.
Hold their secrets so close
Never letting go.
Denying it all.
You can never figure out how it goes.
So you try to emulate their easy smile,
but it’s slipping down down down.
And you act as they don’t bother you,
but it’s all a lie… lie… lie…
You’re such a little liar.
And you can burn all of the evidence.
Turn the house into smoke.
Put your cards in the fire,
but they’ll never go away.
Their existence is carved in stone.
And you’re going to have to deal with it all.
Their eyes don’t betray them,
as much as your own do.
Can’t figure out why you cannot hide.
It’s like your body betrays you
and your heart wants to be seen,
bleeding on your arm in vain.
They take you for all that you have.
I have written down my sins,
I know all of my flaws in length.
I have burned my heart,
tore it to pieces.
Tried to hide behind it’s shattered lies.
You can burn your tears,
That wont stop you from crying
You can twist and wring your hands,
You can stop them with your shouting.
Hold them back with your anger.
But they will always get out.
You’re responsible for yourself.
No one else owns you.
You have to own up, to what you have done.
You’ll never destroy the truth,
You must accept it.
You can burn the papers,
doesn’t stop it from being true.
I posted a video of myself on my Facebook and Instagram: curlyquehearts rising to the ALS ice bucket challenge. It is meant to raise awareness for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis disease or Lou Gehrig’s disease. It’s a video of myself in a bikini, with no makeup in my bathtub dunking myself in ICE WATER. The video included tags for my friends and family to do as well. On instagram, a young girl posted this vicious reply:
You look like the wicked witch of the west.
Here’s the screenshot, with her name blacked out. And my response:
And this is why cyber bullying is pathetic. Lol if you go to her instagram, she is ten… I don’t want anyone to go to her page or say anything to her, but I feel this is why the world is so messed up. Why on earth do people feel it is necessary to make rude comments on others pages? Yeah, I’m not wearing any makeup, I’m in a bikini and I have a prominent French nose. You are definitely not the first person to mention it little girl, and you probably won’t be the last. But here’s a life lesson for the rest of you, being somebody who says things like that to another person, makes us believe that you’re insecure about something. Being ugly on the inside, does not make you pretty on the outside. And hiding behind a keyboard doesn’t keep you safe either. Good luck growing up little girl.