art, aspiring author, blogging, devil, flawed, follow me, heaven, hell, love, love yourself, my blog, writing

Excerpt from Body for Sale

            “Hello!?” I shout into the dark room, how in all of holy hell did I get here?

            I am in a room resembling a shady lawyer’s office, and I am wearing my crappy pajamas that I am pretty sure I only wear alone in my bedroom and sometimes around the house when I’m feeling super lazy.

                        But inside of this room, it’s a sweltering 100 degrees, and these pajamas are becoming too heavy to wear. There’s an odd dress hanging on a hook by the door and the shades are covering the outside hall, which I assume exists in my little fairyland.

            It’s my favorite shade of green and looks lighter and cooler to wear in this hellhole. I shrug my shoulders, and don it. It fits me perfectly, but this is dreamland, so whatever I see will be made for me anyways. There’s a mirror on the door, and I turn back in forth in appreciation.     

            It’s slimming and light on my body, which is hard to do, but it has a low-neckline that will make any guy drool, and there’s a cute pair of brown wedges next to it. I decide this is heaven, albeit a hot one, and put them on too. They fit like a glove and I float around the room feeling pretty. Back in the mirror, my eyes are glowing next to the green color and my hair is behaving in my natural curls framing my pale face rather sweetly.

            I swish the dress around a bit more feeling feminine and cute, when the door opens rather abruptly and standing there is one hot dude.

            “Having fun?” he flashes me an insanely hot smile, full of charm and obvious confidence.

            “uh-uh.” I think I reply rather stupidly, but I have never seen such a hot guy turn on the charm for little ‘ole me.

            I finally pull my lips back up from the ground and give him an appraising look. It’s like he was written out of the book on How to Make a Bad Boy Look Good. I instantly write the title in my head and instantly regret it.

            He’s at least 6’4” with broad shoulders, long, masculine arms, and wide hands that look like they could break my ribs with a squeeze. I shiver indelicately.

            He’s also got heart-breakingly dark green eyes and dark black hair. His skin is a nice tanned color and he probably works out three hours a day. I can almost imagine his flawless abs underneath that way too sexy dark gray suit he’s rocking to impress me with.

            He wins.
            And on one of his hands, I can see a tribal tattoo coming out from underneath the wrists of his suit jacket. Yum.

            He smiles at me again and I notice one dimple pop out. I’m a goner for sure now.

            “Like what you see?”

            “Excuse me?”

            “Well, you’re staring rather unabashedly at me, I think I have the right to ask.”

            “Well, you’re not supposed to be in my dream, so please step out.”

            “Your dream?” he looks rather surprised. I smile triumphantly; I managed to trump him on a technicality. But in all reality, he isn’t supposed to be in here, I only dream of cute guys I can get. Not unrealistically hot guys I will never touch. Although he is so obviously close and easily touchable within this distance.

            Snap outta it! I shake my head and focus back on him, trying to ignore the obvious sensation of losing the feeling in my legs when he smiles. Damn him!

            “Yes, my dream. See, you’re too perfect, you should be too short or have a serious physical impairment to your otherwise perfect looks. Sorry! You do NOT belong in my dreams. Ta Ta!” I wave my hands at him in a goodbye motion knowing in my dreams he’ll just disappear because this is MY world and what I say goes. Unless it’s a nightmare, than I have no absolute reign, but in a dream where I have sex with a hot stranger, this guy is definitely under my power.

            But after waving my hands at him in different ways for probably much too long, he’s crossed his arms and is waiting patiently for something to happen.

            “I’m not dreaming, is the obvious question to ask now, huh?” I finally say out loud.

            “No, you’re not.”

accept yourself, against bullying, against cyber bullying, beautiful, flawed, i am myself, love, love yourself, take a stand


I posted a video of myself on my Facebook and Instagram: curlyquehearts rising to the ALS ice bucket challenge. It is meant to raise awareness for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis disease or Lou Gehrig’s disease. It’s a video of myself in a bikini, with no makeup in my bathtub dunking myself in ICE WATER. The video included tags for my friends and family to do as well. On instagram, a young girl posted this vicious reply:

You look like the wicked witch of the west. 

Here’s the screenshot, with her name blacked out. And my response:


And this is why cyber bullying is pathetic. Lol if you go to her instagram, she is ten… I don’t want anyone to go to her page or say anything to her, but I feel this is why the world is so messed up. Why on earth do people feel it is necessary to make rude comments on others pages? Yeah, I’m not wearing any makeup, I’m in a bikini and I have a prominent French nose. You are definitely not the first person to mention it little girl, and you probably won’t be the last. But here’s a life lesson for the rest of you, being somebody who says things like that to another person, makes us believe that you’re insecure about something. Being ugly on the inside, does not make you pretty on the outside. And hiding behind a keyboard doesn’t keep you safe either. Good luck growing up little girl.